Rocket Spanish Community

Okay, maybe this isn't the right kind of question to post here, but does anyone have any information on having a cross cultural relationship with a guy (or girl) from a Latin culture? I ask 'cause lots of friends I know are dating Mexican guys, and people keep saying that you gotta watch out because the Mexican culture is different and you can't assume that your relationship is going to be the same as one with somebody from your own culture.

Are there any tips about how to navigate these kinds of issues?

Hi, I'm probably not the best person to answer this but as I am in a cross cultural relationship all I can tell you is that dating anyone no matter where from, is always different. But yes, maybe someone from another country could be a bit of a cultural shock... or a nice surprice you never know. You say lots of your friends are dating Mexicans, maybe it is because they like the differences. Anyway, does any one else have any comments? It is a very interesting question.

Thanks Esperanza

I am interested in a guy speaks Spanish and muy poco English. i have been wanting to learn Spanish for a very long time, and now I have a great incentive!
Anyway, The language barrier is really tough and I can't tell if he is not interestedor if it's the language thing. He told my Mexican friend that it was the language thing, and I think he's a little shy. problem is, I am very shy myself! I just was wondering if there is any advice for overcoming these barriers aside from learning the new language. (Which I am trying to do) I have had to be a little more aggressive than I am used to being (the shyness thing) and I am afraid that he will perceive me as too forward. I have heard that Mexican men think American girls are wild anyway.

There is so little information out there available for the white girl who wants to date a Latino guy! When I was in a two-year cross-cultural relationship (wholly conducted in Spanish--he didn't speak a word of English), I searched for a book on How to Love a Latino Man and couldn't find anything relevant.

You're definitely doing the right thing by learning Spanish first. Although it may sound romantic to fall in love with someone you can't actually talk to, it's pretty impractical. To really fall for someone, you have to get to know them, and that means that you have to be able to talk and share your hearts and minds. You don't ever really know a person until you've shared a heart-to-heart conversation. And in a cross-cultural relationship, communication is even MORE essential. There are so many opportunities for misunderstandings.

The best way to begin getting to know this guy better is to tell him that you're learning Spanish (estoy aprendiendo español), and could you practice your Spanish with him (¿puedo practicar contigo?). He may find that he really enjoys teaching you, and the interchange of language bond you together.

Good luck! íBuena suerte!

Is it unusual for a latin man to declare "te quiero" - and definately meaning it in a romantic sense - fairly early in a relationship? It surprised me, but perhaps this is a cultural difference, that there might be a tendency to feel intimate more quickly on his part.

I'm sure people vary in every culture, just this surprised me as it seemed like it was too soon for that sort of thing. Is "te quiero" more akin to a declaration of interest or infatuation - even perhaps in the more literal translation more like lust, rather than a serious statement of "being in love" in the way most Americans might take such a declaration?

Marcia

From my personal experience--and everyone out there can correct me if I'm wrong!--it's actually MORE likely for a Latino to say, "Te quiero," soon than it is for an American guy to say, "I love you." That's because, in many Latin cultures, young men and women date to see if they'd be compatible spouses, whereas in American culture we often date for fun or pleasure.

I have asked many Latin guys what the difference between "Te quiero" and "Te amo" is, and they tell me there is absolutely no difference when they say them to their beloved.

Anyone else have a different experience?

Hi! Wow this might be a late reply but I had write as I am struggling with the same thing! I was dating a guy for a little while in latin america and he started saying te quierro to me as well and still does to this day!....but we are not dating anymore! (it is a long story) but so I asked a lot of latino men what the significance of this is and and most people told me it is something people say to someone they really care about....whether it be family, good friends or in less serious relationships. If they say te amo, then it is serious or they just want to come back to your country with you! haha! Anyway, hope this helps you....I still struggle with it's significance given my case!
Suerte!
cuidate
hija del sol

if anyone is interested in practising spanish I would love to keep mine up and learn more! Cheers

I am not young but I have traveled throughout Central America and in Cuba and many men have told this married woman "te quiero". I have taken the attitude that they are signalling that they are interested in me and it is worth a shot to see how I react. Frankly, it is a little like bird-song. The male bird sings to see what female bird will come closer.
I have been in too many situations (myself or helping friends) where Latin Machismo meets North American feminism. It can be as simple as misunderstandings or as serious as ******. Just recently in the news there have been stories about US women living in San Miguel Mexico reporting to police rapes and demanding action. Mexican females rarely report rapes since they are embedded in a culture where the shame is theirs and the police blame them for the ******.
Now love affairs are not close to this but keep your eyes open about what you want from the relationship and what your suitor might want. Latin men are serious and persistent in their courting. Have fun but keep your wits about you.

I have been in a relationship with a women for the last eight months who is from the DR. She has been here for the last twenty years, and I do agree about getting to know someone better you need communication. Latin women are very passionate, loving, loyal, and above all else muy caliente. I'm learning Spanish now because it is important to me to be able to communicate with her in both languages. te quiero is considered the in between I like you and I love you.

In my household, we generally use Te quiero when we are referring to loving a family member. For example, a mother would tell her daughter te quiero because she loves her but she would tell her husband te amo because she is in love with him. Te amo is a much stronger love than saying te quiero.

Doesn't "te quiero" mean "I want you"? Granted, men in love want the objects of their affections, but, if I'm correct, I'd rather hear "te amo" from a suitor.

As far as Latin men getting together with white women? That was my parents' case and the relationship lasted under ten years. Things rapidly went downhill for my mom when she moved to his stomping grounds (Panama) and he allowed his hormones to run wild. This isn't a one-sided sob story from my mother: my dad verified and has apologized repeatedly to me. Although they both have told me that they loved each other like no other and I would probably allow myself to become involved with a Latin man, the macho ***************** machine is probably an accurate description and, no matter what culture you grew up in, important to take into account before getting serious.

"Te quiero" could mean both "I want you" and "I love you". But of course, in this case it means "I love you".

Can someone comment on whether latino women as inclined to have an affair with a married man as caucasion women? Yo hablo Español muy poquito y una mujer joven no hablas Inglés. We met at work.

Pablo

Pablo,
I have corrected your language.
If you have a problem with that, please give me a PM.

Antonio, moderator.

Well... that depends on what you mean by how inclined caucasion woman are to having affairs...

Mauricio.

In regards to esperanza:
Yes, you can't assume that your relationship is going to be the same, as one with somebody from your own culture, and you can't assume that it will be much different; one shouldn't, anyways. I agree with Mauricio, that dating anyone, no matter where they are from, is always different.

In regards to kelli:
I have had two Mexican boyfriends in the past. My ex-ex-novio; my first boyfriend, neither knew, nor spoke much English. Just the basics, like: hello, thank you, etc. My ex-novio (now only mi amigo) knows and speaks English very well; basically like a native.
Before I met the first guy, I had already begun to learn Spanish on my own, but I didn't make much of an effort to learn it on a regular basis, like now; an everyday or every other day basis. Therefore, I hardly knew any of the language. Later on down the road, I put forth a strong effort, because I obviously wanted to learn Spanish, and because I wanted to be able to communicate with him.
Once we started dating, so I could tell him how I felt about our lack of understanding the others language, he accompanied me to my computer. Well, it's not mine. It's my fathers. It was there, where I logged-on to freetranslation.com, and typed in; basically, that I was learning Spanish, and that it may take a few months for me to learn, in order for us to fully understand one anothers words. I asked him to not give up on us. He agreed. He was learning English, and we were surprisingly understanding each other.
A few weeks later, he stopped calling me, and answering my calls. I called him at his house number, and his cousin (who speaks English just as good as a native) answered the phone. I asked his cousin if he knew why he (my ex-ex) was not communicating with me. The cousin told me that he said it had to do with something; something that some of his other cousins agreed was true, and some agreed was not true. I really felt that he wasn't talking to me, because our relationship was over; as far as he was concerned, and that that was because of our language barrier.
There IS a cross-cultural couple that I learned about on tv. They both said that neither one of them knew a word of the others language, but because they cared so much about each other, they learned the others language, and now fluently conversate with one another. It's not the same for everyone, but who knows? Be realistic, but stay positive. Maybe it can be the same for you two, too.

What I am saying, yes; there's more , is that my advice for overcoming the barriers that you explained, is if you are not shy about your feelings for him, throw the shyness to the side, while willingly learning español.

Was that good advice?
P.S. Obviously, it has been over a year since your post. With that, have you achieved learning español? What about your FRIEND?